i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
