Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
