I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
