I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
