I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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