this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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