My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
