dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
