you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm too high and old for this...
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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