You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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