nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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