Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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