God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Operation Purity has been aborted
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize