She announced her abortion via fbk
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm at about main and main street
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
