No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
