I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
