The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
