O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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