He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I would fuck him just for his dog
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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