I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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