That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
