i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
