My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
