I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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