I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
