There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
