You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
