ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize