weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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