Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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