What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
