she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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