I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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