I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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