She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
