halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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