he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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