I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
