Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
