This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
