M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
