At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
should my penis look like a turkey
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
