to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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