got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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