she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
