She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
