hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
