Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Boobs are out for the taking
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
