This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
