i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I supernannyed him into submission
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
