Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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