I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
