remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
