I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
