Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
