Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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