i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
