thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
