12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize