Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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