if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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