just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I checked into jail on foursquare
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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