He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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